I will preface what I am about to say by stating that I'm extremely stressed out by work right this second. It's not nearly as big a deal as it may seem when I type what I'm about to type. Seriously. It has absolutely zero impact on my day to day life. But most likely brought
on by stress.
So a while back I "loaned" the man who was once a long long time ago my father. And by long I mean that it has been well over 20 years. More than half my life. He has also since long long ago been replaced by a much more deserving, caring and considerate man. A man I call Dad and others call Lovee. The dad that walked me down the aisle.
Also? By "loan" I mean "gave".
So he called me earlier today to let me know that he couldn't pay me back quickly (not that I expect it). And while chatting and discussing my pregnant niece, he mentioned her due date is in November. 15th, maybe.
I waited.
I don't judge you if you don't know why I waited yet. Well, unless you are Baby, then you are in BIG trouble.
I waited. The conversation continued on to other things.
So, nope, not even an acknowledgment that the date, probably not even the actual due date, but vaguely familiar to him for another reason, is my birthday.
Dumb, but it made me a little sad. Not long lasting sad but sad for a minute.
Does it ever completely go away? The wanting or wishing that I was anything more than a bank to this former family of mine?
Makes me happy that they've been replaced by much more suitable (& loving) family.
Dad, thanks for being the bestest, I'm so glad I stole you from Pups. :)
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9 bits of love:
Big loss for bio dad. Big hug to real dad.
It sucks but I know how you feel. That's why I stopped talking to my parents. Every conversation turned into how much $$$ they needed from me. I didn't become a success just to hand my $$$ over to them.
Glad you found a real dad to replace bio dad.
I'm so glad you kept us!!!! Love you girlie!
You know what they say, you can't choose family; you are stuck with the ones you've got... so make friendships that make up for it! Hell knows that's what I do!
:D
WTH with the Chinese spam in the comments...? weird.
Sheesh. Even I knew what the date was... I don't know how much it will cheer you up, but you're special to me, and I'm sorry you were made to feel bad. I'm glad you got someone new to fill the role better than it had been. For all of us lucky enough to have you meaningfully in our lives, it is our good fortune... and for those who have squandered that opportunity, I can only feel pity...
Agree with all of the above. It's sad to discover that a parent isn't capable of providing what you need, unfortunately that happened to you much too young. Very glad you found a better support system and you seem to be past anger and handling it with grace.
Daughter,
I am sorry you experienced sadness with the situation. Try to throw the situation in the discard file in your brain. I love you for who you are and that you love me. I loved you as a daughter when you were with Pups and now that you are married to BABY. You always know where home is and all that I/we will ever need from you; your love.
dad rlh
some ppl just don't get it...ever! You, my dear one,are a treasure! And we are honored to be put into such place in your life.. :)
It's said some people come into your life for a season and some for a reason. Love is our reason and it spans the seasons.
xoxo forever!
Glad you have Pups and his family. :) xo
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